Happy Birthday to my two sweet boys!

I can't believe that three years ago I found out that today was the day that my sweet and tiny babies would be born.  It was a day filled with so much fear.  As I sit here now I can't help but to feel sad since one of my boys will not be here with us.  Samuel, please know how much we miss you.  Jacob recognizes you from your pictures and excitedly screams "Baby Samuel" whenever he sees your picture.  You are never far from my mind or my heart.  Happy 3rd birthday to my my angel in heaven and my angel on earth.

How very softly you tiptoed into our world. Almost silently; only a moment you stayed. But what an imprint your footprints have left on our hearts

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Happy birthday Jacob!

I love you both so much!!!

Mommy

Someone missing from our photos

Every time I look at a picture of my children there is always an ache in my heart because someone is missing. That someone is Samuel. I can't help myself. The picture is not complete. There should be four children there, not three. He should be on Alex's lap or sitting next to Jacob. He should not be missing from the picture. That is not how it is supposed to be. I pictured my family of four children so many times in my head. I dreamt of what it would be like for Michael and Alex each to have a baby to hold, not one baby to pass back and forth. I saw my twins together playing on the floor. I saw myself holding them on my lap...I could actually feel what that was going to be like, rocking them together in a rocking chair. Two highchairs, two cribs, me tearing my hair out as I chased after two boys. How could I have pictured it so perfectly? How am I living a life so different than the one I pictured?

A few pictures to enjoy

Michael and Jacob
Jacob eating Mimi's Christmas cookies

Michael, Davis and Jacob

A new way to keep you updated

Hi everyone,

I would like to keep everyone up to date on what is going on in our lives. I get so busy that I don't usually send pictures and updates. I would like to try to be better about this! So, here is my attempt to start a blog about our boys! Pictures are a huge part of my life. I love taking them and I love showing them to people. My mom and her sisters bought a digital picture frame for my grandparents and my cousin, Sara, is uploading all the images. While I was choosing which pictures to send to her I realized that not many people get to see pictures of my children. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do!!!